I really had no intentions, timetables or time lines when I started this. It was just a place to let loose in words. Knowing my kids are reading this sometimes makes that harder to do. Makes it harder to be totally honest. That is one thing, I promised them throughout this whole process, to be totally honest with them. I think I have done that so far, even when it's been absolute pain for me to do so. What mother wouldn't want to spare her children pain? Especially when Mom is telling them one thing from the doctor and everyone else is telling them something completely different? I hope everyone else is right, Oh how I hope it, but who do you believe? The one who sees this everyday of her life or the one who loves you and doesn't want anything to happen to you?

Well, I've dealt with my big bad monster for this month. No, I am not talking about my period. Already dealt with that beast! Talking about Chemo!! I feel like a drum roll should play when I type that word out!! It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. Friday, the first day, was pretty rough, retching wise, but then I learned, don't eat a thing, absolutely nothing before you take that pill. Then life is not so bad, but life is going to be much better today when I don't have to take that pill at all! I only take the Chemo five days a month, then rest for 23 days then five days and so on. The weight loss I feel from not eating is not so bad either. So often the pills I take for my peripheral neuropathy caused me to gain so much weight, it's nice to have one that has the opposite effect for a change. I just wish that I didn't have to take it, which should go without saying, but you never know...

Now is the time to sit back and think of those little capsules loose in my body doing good and fighting danger for all the world to see so the words of those who love me can then out weigh those of the doctor who sees it every day of her life at least for my kids sake! Please God, for their sake.